Case story. Getting to the root of the problem

It's often true that the cause and symptom of a problem are not the same thing, this is true in many areas of life. For example if you turn on a light and nothing happens it would be logical to think that the bulb has blown whereas in reality the cause is a fuse that has tripped because there is a problem with your fridge. It doesn't matter how many times you change the light bulb and reset the fuse the problem will not go away until you fix your fridge. People are the same, often the root cause of a problem is not apparent and we set about treating the symptom. As with the fridge, the problem will never go until the root cause has been found.

Grace is a lady in her 30's and at the time we worked together she was working out her notice period at the job to start her own business. She does not live in the UK and English is not her first language so the session was conducted over Skype and I have edited her words to make them flow better in English.

She told me that she was experiencing a lot of anxiety about the company she was setting up. She had not yet created a legal company (which is required in her country even for a sole trader) because of contractual agreements with her employer. She had built a website and had advertised her services and had been told by a friend that she should not do this until her company has been created. She had taken down the website however the anxiety was that someone would maliciously report her to the authorities who would come after her and she would be fined for breaking the rules and that the government would come after her.

I asked her what we should begin tapping on and she replied "Now that I think about it it's just a fear of having done something wrong. It's always the same thing with me, the fear that I did something wrong."

We agreed to tap on "I did something wrong" With a set up like this some people become worried that by using a negative set up statement that we will drill even more problems into ourselves. I reminded her that we are aiming to clear any feelings associated with this feeling and to see what other information comes to light.

Half way through the round she started to laugh and said "You know I don't believe that any more. I didn't do anything wrong, I made a mistake."

"Do you allow yourself to make mistakes?"

"Yes of course."

We carried on the round using the phrase "I made a mistake" instead, we agreed it is a much kinder inner dialogue to be having.

I asked Grace how she was feeling now and she says that she now accepts that she made an honest mistake but that she is afraid to get caught.

So we used I'm afraid to get caught as a set up.

After this nothing new had come to light so I asked her what exactly she was afraid of, what did she think may happen if she was caught.

She had one of those moments where a light bulb appears to come one and things become clearer.

The session progressed as follows.

"Ah, I've just realised It's not an isolated fear, it's not an isolated feeling its exactly the same thing that I used to feel when I was with my ex boyfriend. If I just talked to a male friend he hated it and I had the feeling that I had done something very wrong. I knew logically that I hadn't so I was afraid that he would tell me that I'm a bad person, that I not honest and other things. It's the same feeling, right now. "

"Do you have a specific example of when that happened with your ex boyfriend?"

"Yeah, many"

"I'd like to find the one time that stands out the most and focus in on it. Do you feel OK and ready to do that?"

"Yes, and I have one."

"Just see it, feel it , remember the sights, the sounds, the smells, the tastes, the environment, and most importantly how you felt. How do you feel about that"

She sounded nervous when she replied "I don't want to go back there."

"Where do you feel that in your body, show me with your hands."

Grace pointed to her chest and I ask her to place on hand on this area and focus on the feeling, and with the other hand just tap as normal using the words "I don't want to go back there as the set up

After this round Grace reported that the physical feeling in her chest had gone. I asked her how she was feeling now.

"I'm still thinking about my ex, I'm feeling something to do with being in his home but I don't really know what. "

"Let's focus back into this memory again. How do you feel now?"

"Like I want to tell him f*** off I didn't do anything wrong."

"Ok lets tap on that, lets tap on exactly that. "

One of the keys to EFT is that we do not have to be clever with our set up's we just use whatever we are feeling or whatever words jump into our minds.

We began with "f***" off I didn't do anything wrong" as a set up which we shortened simply to "f*** off" for the rest of the round.

She began quietly and timidly so I encouraged her to put some energy into it and she began telling him to f*** off much more enthusiastically and of course by the end of the tapping round we were

both laughing hysterically.

Grace was now feeling much better.

We finished the session tapping a couple of rounds on positive things like looking forward to the future and feeling positive about her business and she left with a big smile on her face.

I spoke with her a week later and she told me that she no longer had any worried or concerns about her business. That was several months ago and Grace is now successfully building her business faster than she ever expected to and has never been so happy in her life.

Interestingly her ex boyfriend contacted her by text a few days after this session after not having any contact for more than 2 years telling her that he had been thinking of her and wanted to get in touch. Grace laughed when she saw it, didn't read it all the way through and felt very good about herself as she deleted it.